New Way to Blog Your Dreams!

I love efficiency, which is why I’m really excited about my most recent new idea! I just added this  WordPress app to my phone, and can now record dreams directly to my blog This should save some time, which is great since time was the biggest reason I haven’t been posting lately.

During the last year, I have finished a master’s degree, moved to another state, started a new job, and gotten married… all of which makes for great dreams…

Squashed Koalas and Fires in Freezers

[I recounted this dream onto a voice recorder right after waking up, or almost before waking up as my voice is gravelly and my words are garbled... I reconstructed as best I could]

I was in a group in high school or something and we were going to to this other state to build a playground for kids.  It was in Georgia or Pennsylvania or something.  So we were building the playground, and I forgot most of that part, but when we were done we were in the parking lot and this van was there.  There was a man there too that this girl in my van had gone to high school with and he wrote her a note and then there was something about the fact that a teacher shouldn’t write a student a note before he was married.   Anyway, then this crew came up and they wanted to interview us.  One guy shoved this thing in my face, this recording thing.  I thought he was dialing a number, but it was just a recorder.  He started asking me all these crazy questions, but I didn’t know the answers to the questions because I had no idea what we were doing there or anything and it was awful.  Then he said he was from the Adventist Boys….. something.  I asked him if that was just a recorder and he said “yeah” and then he just… walked away.  So our group donated to them, it was weird.  So then we were driving away in our van and all the kids from the other van were just running alongside.  And then Daniel said, “Have you been to a zoo the whole time we were here?!  They have NOTHING!”  And then someone else said, “Yeah, they only have giraffes… giraffes and buffaloes”, and I was thinking, “Hmmm, those would  be pretty cool to see, actually, ” but I went along with the joke.  And then we saw a koala bear and I was like, “A koala bear!!!”  She hanging on this woman’s hair as someone was carrying her, and then I was running past and as I ran past, the koala bear fell and I…I think I stepped on it…  And that’s when I woke up.

Then in another dream I was visiting my boyfriend again and we were sitting in this restaurant and his friend came to visit and I wanted to sit at the tall table and the waiter said next time we could.  THEN a fire broke out in the kitchen but they just told everyone to stay put for a little bit.  I could see the fire and so I sat there and watched it and everyone was like, “What are you doing?!” and I said, “Oh, I like fire; it’s cool.”  And then the fire was out later but there was one little thing still on fire in the freezer.  Weird.

Then I was in my room and there were cabinets all along one side of the wall.  My dresser and everything else was gone and in it’s place there were some cabinets too.  Everything else was gone.

Hazy Bits

I dreamed that I thought I might be pregnant and Andi said she was definitely sure that I was and that it was a girl.

Then I dreamed that I was basically harassed/molested by a police officer who stopped me for speeding but then tried to kiss me and more.  Yuck.

I dreamed something complicated about colors for a long time.  My boyfriend was in the dream.  Every time I rolled over some new element was added to the dream.

Bathroom Exposure

I often have these dreams in which I’m trying to use the bathroom in some sort of facility but am exposed to the world in one way or another: there is no door on the stall, the toilet is in a common room, the toilet is in the middle of a the sidewalk….  I cannot count the number of variations I have had on the exposed bathroom dream.

Last night I had this dream in which I believe I was married and my husband and I were having friends over for the evening.  It was still 15 or 20 minutes before they were supposed to show up when I decided to get into the bath.  As soon as I did, there they were!  And not only were they in the house, they were right in the bathroom door, looking at me (I hadn’t even had time to close the bath curtain).  They (a man and his son) didn’t get embarrassed like normal people but just hung out in the bathroom.  Furthermore, after awhile they just climbed into the bathtub on either side of me and the three of us sat there soaking.  Awkward. I wanted to get out, but I was hoping they’d get out first since there was no way I could get out without them seeing me naked (apparently if I stayed under the water I was hidden- bubbles, maybe?).  My husband, or whoever I was entertaining with, thought this was really strange but didn’t do anything to help.

Later on I dreamed that I was at some sort of gathering or small town or school.  There had been a disaster and a bunch of supplies had just arrived to help out.  Everyone was sharing in a big meal, but I really didn’t feel like I needed any extra help, so I wasn’t sure if I was going to eat it.  I was supposed to be in class at 2:15 and one of my classmates asked me if I wanted to go ahead and start walking there with her.  I really just wanted to be by myself, so I said I’d be along in a little while.  I think I ended up eating some food, but then I also remember changing my mind about walking with her and trying to catch up.  In any case, I stopped on the way to class to use the bathroom.  Everything went wrong in there.  I had trouble getting my clothing pulled down, I peed my pants a little bit, some of my clothes got dragged in the toilet… it was just one big frustrating nightmare of a bathroom break.  I was in there a really long time.  There was no door on the stall and the front wall of the bathroom was a dark glass, so I had a piece of cloth strung across the opening of the stall to make sure no one could see in.  But then I looked to my left and realized that THAT wall was also glass and that this whole group of guys had been watching me the whole time   I was late to class by about 30 minutes and I felt really dumb.  I missed at least 4 major points in the lecture outline.

Shortly before I woke up, I was trying to snowboard.

Dead Mannequin’s, Modern Family, and Clearing Minefields

In my dream, I was visiting my boyfriend (but in a totally different house than his) and we were really happy, having a great time…  Until someone died.  It was this random man who was apparently living in the house too, or maybe just in the entryway because  that’s the only place I ever saw him.  After we realized he was dead, we had to go somewhere for a few hours, but when we came back we (I) tried doing CPR on him.  I did it for a long time but it wasn’t working.  Finally the paramedics arrived and that’s when I realized that the man was just a hollow shell with skin.  No, wait, he was now just a gunnysack.  The paramedic sucked the air out of him from the bottom (of the sack) and begin rolling him up.  And it took forever.  I was just a little worried that they were taking too long and that his chances were nil.  I wondered if maybe he was already pronounced dead and they just weren’t telling us.  Finally he got done rolling him up and was asking us questions about him.  The paramedic remarked that he must have been a very dirty man because he had already decayed out of his skin.  I realized with some dismay that it was probably true.  Anyway, once they left my boyfriend and I went out of the house and were kind of relieved to have that over with… Until we realized that we’d put him in a closet!  Yeah!  Apparently, after he died we’d stuffed him in a closet, which explained the missing BODY, and which also made us look kind of suspect.  We went home and I insisted that we needed to look in the closet.  My boyfriend and mom (who was now there) thought that we should just try to forget about it.  I said that he would probably start to smell pretty soon.  I opened the closet, fearing the worst and…  It was a mannequin!!!  We had a huge laugh at ourselves for thinking the mannequin had been a real person in the first place!  I remember thinking that we must have been really drunk that night (weird because neither of us drinks in real life) and decided not to mention that to my mom.  Since the mannequin was all floppy without bones, my mom insisted that I put new bones in him/her (the mannequin changed gender on me), probably because she’s an A&P teacher and actually has bones.

In the next dream scene, my mom, boyfriend, and a couple of kids were laying on a floor watching a movie.  My boyfriend was evidently someone else slightly by now because I knew that he was my mom’s ex-husband (weird because she has no ex-husband).  Awkward.  I joined him on the floor and he started making all of these very private comments to me in a really loud voice- right next to my mom…  I was extremely embarrassed and begged him to be quiet but he just wouldn’t shut up.  I spent awhile thinking about the awkwardness of dating my mom’s ex and how glad I was that he had quit smoking.

After that, I started dreaming a dream that I was pretty sure in the dream that I had dreamed before… yeah.  We were in some sort of war zone, transitioning to the more dangerous area.  A few people were going to go on an extremely dangerous mission.  In previous versions of the dream, there had been a happy ending, but I had also been going along on the mission in those dreams, so I wasn’t sure if things would end happily this time.  My boyfriend was on the dangerous mission of course.  I was really disappointed that I didn’t get to go on the mission this time.  What I got to do instead was clear minefields.  We had these light things that would send a tiny laser beam back to us if there was a mine… and then we would shoot it.  That’s what we did all day.  Partway through, one of the women busted out these huge metal things that unfolded into closets and dressing rooms and we had a fashion show (apparently to combat the boredom of clearing mines).  One girl had this stocking net over her head and had it stuffed with some black hair and some foil or something… anyway, it gave her head a new and modern shape.  While we were in the middle of dressing up, we got a message from one of the women on the mission.  She was going on and on about these magazine ads she’d seen for “closed, running-footed pajamas” (basically pajamas with the feet) and how she’d never wanted anything more in her life.  I think the life-or-death nature of the mission had gotten to her.  Mercifully, I then woke up.

Sub Stress!

I dreamed that I was on some sort of trip on a bus or something with several people: my boyfriend’s mom, a teenage girl, another random guy, and…. I thought there were a couple more, but now I can’t remember them.   Anyway, those were the main players.  I had the feeling that we were coming from another dream.  We stopped at this gas station place and it was my job to go to this sub shop and get us all these meatball subs.  I had very specific instructions from bf’s mom about what she wanted on her sub and I tried to pay attention and remember because I really wanted to make her happy.  She wanted the sauce and mustard (she said it in a different language but thankfully I understood), and I was doing great telling the guy all of this until I got to the last part and then I confused anchovies and artichokes.  I’m pretty sure she wanted artichokes, but all I could think of was anchovies so after a lot of confusion and indecision I just said that.  And then for the other people’s subs I was trying really hard to remember what they wanted, but I was really confused.  I remember that it was just taking  a really really long time to get all these subs made and I was feeling a tremendous amount of pressure to both hurry and get it right.  I remember thinking that I could call my group and ask what everyone wanted, but then because it was already taking a long time I just… didn’t.  Anyway, I got back with the subs and handed them out.  Thankfully, my boyfriend’s mom was happy with hers (artichokes/anchovies, whatever) and the teenager girl when given a choice of a thumbs up, thumbs down, or ok sign, gave the ok.  The random guy, however, was REALLY mad that I didn’t get his right!  He was horrified that it had anchovies on it (I thought those were special request only?) and just was practically livid that I messed up his sandwich (SOMEONE goes crazy with low blood sugar…).  I felt really awful as I felt myself shrinking under the heat of his wrath, and offered to have another one made for him pronto.  I may or may not have given him my sub to appease him in the interim.  So I went back and somehow tricked the sub shop into giving me a reserved seat meant for at least 5 people and then told them I was actually just taking a to-go order for one person, but because I’d done that I got a lifetime priority seating coupon.  Sweet.  They weren’t happy that I’d tricked them, but they had to play by the rules.  All in all, this was a total stress dream.  I don’t know about cause and effect, but after this dream I woke up with a tension headache and had to take pain reliever.

After going back to sleep, I dreamed that I was going to introduce my boyfriend to my friends Jarrett and Julie.  We were in this church looking for them and finally, when we went into the Sabbath School for little kids, we saw them sitting near the front with their two babies (which was weird because in real life they only have one).  They were wearing matching black and white striped button-down shirts, but only for a second and then Julie’s shirt was white.  There was also another girl sitting beside them with her baby, but it was someone that my sister knew and not me.  Anyway, I was really excited to be able to introduce my boyfriend to them and we were headed to the pew behind them to sit down and then be like HI!  But then I either woke up or the dream ended…

Inapropriate Relationships

There was this place in a dark corner somewhere on a lazy-boy recliner that I kind of perpetually kept a pillow and blanket folded up.  One day I was checking to see if it was still there, surprised that it was, and there was something between the pillow and blanket- an ipod, I thought, and then later it turned out to be a Canon camera.  I wondered if someone was giving it to me or had just used that place to stash it.  The camera was really cool because, as Sally informed me, you could transfer pictures to it or from it long distance.  She did look at me like I was a little crazy, though, when I told her what kind of camera it was and gushed over it…

Then I was talking with someone I’d worked with in AmeriCorps who was currently working at an Adventist school (Secondary level or below).  He was talking with a female student while all the kids were leaving.  Then the closing bell rang and he started cuddling with the student. Apparently they were dating.  I told them that it was probably ok if it was after school hours, but cautioned them to be careful since I’d known someone else in a similar situation who’d apparently not fared well.  They giggled and looked at each other and said, “Suuuuure, it was only after school hours….” and I was worried a bit that the whole thing was going to blow up.

The Fingertip Phenomenon

I dreamed for a long time about posting comments on fb.  DD was somehow able to post comments that would make the tips of my fingers look green or blue or some other color when I stretched out my hand to push snooze on my alarm (which I did several times).  I felt like he was probably using that to try shocking me awake.  There was a lot of dreaming about the comments and it was this whole big thing, but I’ve really forgotten already what it was.  I know that there was a certain strategy to it and a protocol to follow and that you could control certain things with the comments (like the fingertip phenomenon).  He was also trying to explain to me about decorating the condo and telling me that every picture or every room or something had some kind of threshold number and I had to start with something that was on the lower end of those numbers.  “Like 3?” I said.  “No, even lower”, and he wanted it to be lower than 0 even, which was weird.

Then I dreamed that I was at the temp agency that gives me assignments from time to time.  I got a phone call and took it and then kept the headset in my ear and was eavesdropping on other calls.   Someone called wanting a worker and the agency employee suggested me, but the person wanted someone else.  I decided I wouldn’t take that assignment because I knew they really didn’t want me.  I started to fill out a form for the same agency but in Michigan but then realized that I was still in Washington.  Looking underneath the form, I saw this amazingly cool map of all the agencies in the country, each one marked with a tiny iridescent dot.  It was impossibly cool and I wanted it so badly.  It was several pages torn from a magazine and when I looked on the back of it, I saw it addressed to me, but when I looked a second time the address was gone.  I considered just taking them.  Suddenly, I was in a car with my mom and sister and we did a giant U-turn and got stopped by a kid cop that was more like a crossing guard.  My mom rolled down the window, said we were stopping to pray, and got away with it!

Just before waking, I dreamed that I was working at the memory care facility with Andi.  But first, I was with my mom and sister and the facility was a kindergarten class of some kind.  I waited at the entrance and wrote out part of my dream on a blackboard while I waited for it to be  time to go.  Before leaving, we were poking at this mannequin that had a bunch of soft muscle, but no skin.  My mom and sister and I determined that the muscle hadn’t finished the developing.  I accidentally got a big chunk of it stuck to my hand.  Abruptly, she came to life!  I had to help her unwrap a bunch of bandages from her head and then she looked normal.  She turned out to be a coworker of Andi and she was lesbian.  I had to make a huge salad and was listening to Andi and her coworkers talk about people who never helped and half of the salad got poured down my shirt.  I went and tried to shaking it out into a bathtub (the same place I’d put the gobs of bandages), but lettuce was all stuck in my underwear and stuff.  It was a huge mess.  The coworker followed me and was telling me that I should just not wear underwear…

Pirates!

I dreamed that I was some sort of pirate or hanging out with pirates.  I was a man part of the time.  Our group was around a cliff of some sort and I think in part of it we were swimming or diving through the water.  I broke away from the group (the pirate was after me) and went to my family’s house.  I’d abandoned them a long time ago.  My dad was there (not my real dad) and we and the rest of the family were riding around in this cart.  We drove right through my group (in which there were a lot of kids) and I motioned “Shhhhh” to them so the pirate wouldn’t see me.  I ran back to the house at the end and I saw the pirate coming after me, but before I could even turn around, he was behind me and lifted up the back of my shirt and I felt something like a stream of water on my back that SCARED me so much that I woke up!

Cynical: Better than Nothing

Last night I dreamed that an ex-boyfriend was following me.  I knew he was, but I pretended like I didn’t see him.  I could see him in the reflection of windows and things we passed.  I think I was in a train station or something.  He was gaining on me and then suddenly he was beside me and he reached out and took my hand.  I was wearing my black sweater and had the sleeve kind of over my hand, so I stopped to get it out of the way so our fingers could interlock.  Then suddenly I was in his arms and we were kissing passionately.

A few nights ago I dreamed about someone else.  I was dating him and I was pretty happy.  He had dark hair.  I can’t remember who it was, but I felt surprised that it was working out so well.

Last night I dreamed that when the neighbors left they set up 3 TVs, a computer, and a bunch of other stuff like and office under a roofed porch with a note to the rest of us.  They described me as cynical and didn’t mention R, my roommate.